Wanted: A Downstairs Neighbor

Looking for a neighbor to move in below me and my better half to replace the butthead and his girlfriend that live there now:

• Common manners are required.
• Would prefer a triathlete, who could become a training partner.
• Someone who doesn't get upset if we make the slightest noise (aka dropping something on the floor once).
• Would be flexible regarding my use of my potentially noisy trainer (aka let me know hours of the day you are usually gone and that's when I'll use it).
• Wouldn't be bothered with towels and swimming suits hanging over the balcony to dry.
• Wouldn't mind letting us borrow a cup of sugar (or a powerbar) every now and then (we promise to return the favor).
• Likes random dance parties of 80's and 90's music.
• Wouldn't mind helping me out every morning by knocking on the ceiling around 6am so I get up to run.
  
• Would TiVo races for me when I'm in class.

The apartment is a spacious two bedroom/two bath with a good size kitchen and patio. Only serious applicants need apply. Please apply within.